BLOG
Hello! Welcome!
My name is Holly, I am the person behind the website. I am so happy you are here. In this initial post, I wanted to provide further insight into who I am as a counselor, friend, sister, daughter, and wife. Firstly, it has always been important to me to find a purpose in life. The purpose I have found is within helping others. I find great meaning in standing with my clients to help guide them in finding and achieving their goals. I have previously worked at Arizonans for Children, Couples and Family Counseling Center, and Veterans Health and Trauma Clinic where I was able to help many individuals, couples, children, and families. Up until this point, I have challenged myself to learn and achieve in order to maximize my abilities in helping others. When asked, my clients have described my style of counseling as “warm”, “comfortable”, and “helpful”. In addition, I often utilize humor in order to provide relief. Outside of being a counselor, I am proud to be a daughter, friend, sister, and wife. The relationships in my life hold great importance and have shaped my desire to connect with and help others.
I hope this post has offered further detail into who I am and I urge you to reach out if you think we would be a good fit.
Thank you for reading my first blog post. The following posts will provide resources and additional information.
Blog Post #1: Therapy
Do you have questions or curiosity about the therapeutic process? With this blog post, I hope to answer some of those questions and/or wonderances. Therapy can look vastly different depending on the counselor, their training, and the reason for therapy. Full disclosure… I can only speak to how the therapy process unfolds within my practice!
The Process
When coming to therapy at In Your Corner Counseling, I like to begin by getting to know my clients and assess their goals for therapy. During this initial meeting, my hope is for us to become comfortable with one another and to foster a safe environment. The relationship that I build with my clients is my top priority. Once we have had a chance to find comfort and build a relationship, I begin to support my client’s journey of insight, knowledge, healing, and growth. This is the same for marriage counseling. I will work with you each week, or every other week, to reach the goals you entered therapy with, as well as exploring beyond those goals. Once you have reached the point of desire, we begin to slowly faze out our sessions. I do offer “maintenance” sessions to process through the daily occurrences and to help keep you in a place you want to be in. Now, what if you do not know your goals? That is OKAY, you do not need to come into therapy with goals in mind. We will explore those together. If you simply want/need a place to feel supported and safe, that is therapy, and that is what you would find at my practice. The rest we can figure out along the way.
My Style
My style of therapy is typically thought of as person-centered. I enter this relationship with support, love, validation, non-judgement, and warmth. I believe the connection I create with my clients is the basis to growth and healing. In addition, I utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, as well as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. These theories guide our work but do not control it. I structure my sessions to the clients needs and desires.
How to Get Started?
If you are feeling nervous, hesitant, or fearful of therapy… YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Most of my clients express initial nervousness that quickly dissipates in the first session. The first step is reaching out, and I will lead you from there.
I hope this post has answered some of your questions, or eased some nerves.
Please feel free to reach out if you want to explore therapy.
Thank you for reading!
Blog Post #2: Self-Care
What is it?
For this next post, I wanted to target an area that is heard of frequently but rarely incorporated or understood as much as it could be! So, lets begin with a definition. When thinking about self-care, what first pops into your mind? Caring for yourself? absolutely, but the question is HOW. The definition I use with my clients is as follows, self-care is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting and fostering one's own well-being and happiness”-Oxford Languages. There are several things I would like to highlight in this definition. To begin, self-care is a practice, which means it is consistent and requires attention. Additionally, it means taking a very active role, rather than a passive role. All of this to say, self-care is easily ignored, set aside, and forgotten in the daily “craziness”. Thus, it is all the more important to prioritize the practice to assist in well-being and happiness.
The How?
The next piece I want to touch on in regards to self-care is what this might look like! Although we are each very different in how we achieve “well-being and happiness”, there are several tips I can offer to get you started. The first being fulfilling one’s basic needs: eating, sleeping, hydrating, hygiene, and movement. Fulfilling these needs are the first step in the practice of self-care. Once these needs are met, one can move to other aspects of their life, for example, finding activities, people, or hobbies that bring enjoyment. This does not have to take up a lot of time, or happen everyday, but beginning to notice what brings joy, is a start. The final tips I have for self-care (without discussing it individually) are setting boundaries to ensure self-care is being practiced, finding a few minutes to the self, and being aware of what/how your self-care is being practiced.
With this post, I hope it was helpful in gathering more of an idea as to what self-care is and looks like. However, it was brief, so feel free to reach out with any questions!
As always, thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. More to come!
Blog Post #3: Communication
For this weeks blog post, I wanted to focus on a topic that everyone can relate to… communication! We all communicate in someway, every single day. As I have mentioned on my website, I do work with families and couples where communication is worked on continuously. However, when working with individuals, communication is also a topic of discussion because we all have to communicate!
So, let’s begin with a definition (you will see this as a pattern in my posts). Communication means sending/receiving information. Communication can be verbal (talking) and nonverbal (body language). We communicate all day long and even when we do not feel like we are!
With that being said, can you think of a time where you were trying to communicate with someone and they were not receiving it how you intended? or have you listened to someone speak but not understood what they wanted from you? finally, have you felt someone was feeling a certain way towards you based off of their body language? THIS IS ALL RELATED TO COMMUNICATION, and beyond that, often times, MISCOMMUNICATION. Another topic that is key when looking at communication as a whole.
In order to communicate without miscommunication, there are several skills that can be learned and implemented. Learning these tools can help in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting, and so forth. I have outlined some of these skills below. If you are interested in learning more, please do not hesitate to reach out!
Tips and Tricks!
Over-communicate: although it may feel like people can read your mind, they CANNOT. Do not assume people know what you mean or feel, express it!
Use ‘I feel’ statements: using ‘I feel’ statements assists in healthy communication. More often than not, individuals start a sentence with “you did…”. When using ‘you’ in a statement of emotion, the individual you are speaking to will automatically become defensive and shut down.
Avoid using extremes: Just as “you statements” can create defensive behavior, so can extremes. For example, ‘always’ and ‘never’ are two extremes that do not lead to productive communication.
For more tips and tricks about communication, feel free to send me an email, or give me a call to discuss!
I hope this was helpful. Thank you for reading!
Blog Post #4: Core Emotions
What are core emotions? Core emotions are emotions individuals respond with, and feel, without thinking. A core emotion is triggered through the limbic system, which then speaks to the vagus nerve, which then speaks to our entire body (wow, a lot of jargon!). Basically, core emotions help us react to events quickly and without thinking. Once we are able to pause, reflect, and think, we are able to understand why that particular emotion was triggered and what to do about it! Emotions manifest both in the body and through expression.
Is there a list of them? Yes! However, to name several emotions that are felt by most everyone….. mad, glad, sad, and scared. Often times, we can experience these emotions without even recognizing them! A skill that is practiced and learned in therapy is how to identify and alter emotions which then leads to behavior changes and overall more self-insight/self-regulation! Think about this quote, “motion leads emotion”- what do you think this means?
Are emotions good or bad? NO. I never label an emotion as “good” or “bad” when in therapy. Emotions simply are more challenging or less challenging. However, what I aways speak to is that you have to have the more difficult emotions in order to feel and understand the more desired emotions! It is impossible to have one without the other! What do you think about this?
I will continue to speak about emotion as it is a complex and never ending discussion, however, I hope this preview into emotion provided further insight and awareness into emotion in general! Feel free to let me know your thoughts or questions through email, or through one of our social media platforms!
Blog Post #5: Scheduling
Beginning steps: One of the most overwhelming parts of life can often be scheduling! I wanted to provide a post that offered insight into how scheduling works at In Your Corner Counseling. To begin, I offer correspondence via email, text, or a free phone consultation. Often times, actually making a phone call is difficult and nerve racking. Don’t worry, you do not have to call me in order to set up an initial appointment!
How does it work? I try to keep scheduling as simple as possible. I understand schedules can be hectic. In our initial communication, I will inform you of how our practice navigates scheduling. We recently added a new feature to provide client flexibility and control over scheduling! You will be set up with a portal where you can find billing information, documentation, and scheduling! A time slot will be discussed with you and you will then be able to control all of your appointments in the portal.
Inconsistent schedule? If your schedule is not the same each week, no problem! We can take it week by week and find openings.
Still have questions about scheduling? feel free to reach out to discuss it!
Blog Post #6: Prepare/Enrich Facilitator
Introduction: You may have seen on my website that I now offer an assessment and resources through Prepare/Enrich. I wanted to take a moment to explain, in more depth, what this is and means! Prepare/Enrich was developed in 1977 with the mission of providing couples with evidence-based practices that include assessments and resources to assist in fostering healthier relationships. Stated on their website, more than 4,000,000 couples have prepared for marriage, or improved their relationship through the assessment provided and by working with a facilitator.
Facilitation: Prepare/Enrich offers a training course to become a facilitator. I have taken this course and am now considered a “trained facilitator”. I am able to offer access to the assessments and guide couples as we utilize the findings to better the relationship.
More depth: To offer more insight into the assessment and the topics that are covered, the assessment looks at communication, expectations in the marriage, personality types, etc. Once the assessment is complete, I am provided insight into the areas that would be beneficial to cover in therapy together, and I have access to resources that assist in improving these areas. One of the pieces of the assessment that matches my style as a therapist is the “strengths section”. This section highlights a couples strengths and brings awareness to what is “working” in the relationship. All of these components combined, I am extremely excited to be able to offer this as an “add on” to my therapeutic services.
More questions? Please feel free to reach out to me and I would be happy to discuss this with you!
Blog Post #7: Hectic Holidays
Introduction: As a therapist, I often see a shift in the energy surrounding society during the holiday season. So much so, I was inspired to write a post to help inform and validate peoples experiences that do not match the “norm”. Often times, the holidays can be filled with a lot of harder emotions (despite what the Hallmark channel shows us). Thus, let’s discuss what this looks like and tips on how to assist those that may have a harder season ahead.
Psycho-education: As previously mentioned, the holidays for some can bring harder emotions and experiences rather than the “cheer” portrayed in the world. Some have lost loved ones around this time, some are reminded as to the void of love/family, some may be suffering from Seasonal Affect Disorder (Seasonal affective disorder occurs in climates where there is less sunlight at certain times of the year. Symptoms include fatigue, depression, hopelessness, and social withdrawal - Mayo Clinic), and some may be struggling to keep up with the financial demands of the holidays. While this list is by no means inclusive of all the occurrences that may happen during this time of year, it does represent a different picture. If you are reading this and you experience one of the above mentioned, or simply struggle during this time of year due to different circumstances, I want to notice you, and validate that it is okay to be feeling whatever you are feeling and you are not alone. If you are reading this to educate yourself, please pay special attention to the next section, and thank you for showing up for others in this moment!
Tips: One of the best ways to make an impact for those struggling is simply to take a moment to support, validate, and listen. Can we change everyone’s circumstances? no. But can we take a moment to pay attention to those that need a little bit more love during this time of year? yes! Be curious about those around you. Do not assume that they are “jolly” during this time of year, but rather listen to where they are at and meet them there! Also, a hug (with consent) can go a long way.
More questions, thoughts, or struggling and desire help? Please feel free to reach out to me and I would be happy to discuss this with you!
Blog Post #8: Spring Cleaning
Introduction: Phew! The weather is slowly changing and spring is around the corner. Often with spring, a ‘spring cleaning’ is of discussion. Well, I wanted to bring that concept into the therapeutic space! What does it mean to have a spring cleaning centered around mental health? Well, keep reading to find out!
Can spring cleaning be therapeutic? Yes! Intentionality around what is in our space, how it looks, and mostly importantly, how it feels emotionally is crucial in creating a safe space. While we know how to purge a closet or drawer, what would it mean to clean our mental state? In my practice, I focus on mindfulness and thinking patterns to ‘free up space’. A lot of times, we feel tired, sad, or have trouble focusing because there are many thoughts that are taking up space ‘rent free’! Maybe it’s the concern we have over our kid’s soccer practice, maybe it’s worry around finances or job security, or maybe it’s replaying the conversation we had that brought about anxiety. All of these types of thoughts can live in our brain’s, sometimes unnoticed, and take up space/energy/and emotion. With the use of cognitive and mindfulness skills, space can be created and clarity can occur!
How?! Well, with a few tools and practice, it is actually much simpler than it sounds. Several skills I speak about include: meditation, container-ing, breath work, thought-stopping, thought-awareness, and so on. With these skills, many of my clients have reported “more clarity and energy”.
Want to know more?? Feel free to reach out to me to discuss! I would be happy to speak with you.
Blog Post #9: Does therapy require homework?
Introduction: A question I often receive from clients is, “do I have homework?”. While each therapist will answer this question differently, I can only speak to how I utilize “homework”. The way I answer this question is usually, “do you want homework?” and “what type of homework works well for you?”. I use these questions to explore what fits the clients needs and goals the best. If a client does not desire outside “homework”, then I will usually do more of this type of work in a session. If a client is open to outside work, then I structure the type of homework to be that which the client would most benefit from. For example, the homework I offer ranges from a workbook to a conversation with a co-worker. Again, I attempt to find what works best for each clients desires and goals for therapy. To provide more insight into the specifics for marital verses individual counseling, please keep reading! :)
Marital Counseling: In marital counseling, the “homework” assigned typically consists of skills (communication, listening, intimacy, and so forth). Some homework assignments may consist of a communication tool being used on a date, while other homework may consist of a particular resource being read and digested.
Individual Counseling: For individual counseling, the “homework” I offer is strictly dependent on the clients goals and preferences. I have encouraged some clients to try a new workout class, while others enjoy several podcast recommendations.
Want to know more?? Feel free to reach out to me to discuss! I would be happy to speak with you.
Blog Post #10: Fall/Winter
Introduction: As the weather changes, the leaves fall, and everyone begins discussing the holiday season, I like to write a post about it! I find it is important to notice and acknowledge all of the circumstances and emotions that arise during this time of year. No matter what the circumstances are, I find that this time of year can uncover a lot for different families and individuals. I wanted to write a post that may provide comfort/support for anyone/everyone going into this time of the year.
Coping: During this time of year, I encourage people to increase their self-care and practice regular self check-ins. Somethings to ask yourself, “how is my energy battery?”, “how does my body feel”, “are any of my needs not being met?”, “do I need to add any extra support"?”, “how are my relationships feeling and is there anything I need to discuss with anyone?”. For marriage, I encourage additional check-ins with one another! Such as, “how did that dinner with my family feel for you?”, “is there anything you need from me going into this busy time of year?”, “how can we be a team with the kids during winter break?”. All of these check-ins allow for planning, opening of conversation, insights into yourself/one another and so forth. I challenge everyone to GET AHEAD of the chaos as much as possible and when you are in the chaos, CHECK YOUR BATTERY and take a break when you may need it.
Extra Support: Sometimes during this time of year, some extra support is helpful/needed. If you feel you may benefit from extra support, please do not hesitate to reach out. I would be happy to join your journey this holiday season and provide a safe and comforting space just for you/you and your spouse.
Blog Post #11: How to Find the Right Counselor for You
At In Your Corner Counseling, finding the right fit between client and clinician is extremely important. Often, it is difficult to know how/what to look for in a counselor to find this fit. Therefore, we have gathered a few aspects to consider below. We do offer consultation phone calls, so feel free to reach out if you would like to explore if we would be a good fit or if you have any questions.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
Choosing the right counselor is a crucial step towards achieving goals and overall wellbeing. With a variety of professionals and styles available, it can be challenging to find a counselor who meets your needs. This guide provides practical tips to help you navigate the selection process and find a counselor who is the right fit for you.
1. Identify Your Goals and Needs
Before you start your search, take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve through your therapy journey. Consider the following:
Specific Issues: Are you seeking help with anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, or another issue?
Type of Therapy: Different therapists use various approaches (e.g., Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy). Researching which method you may resonate with.
Personal Preferences: Think about any preferences you have, such as gender, age, or style of the counselor.
2. Research Potential Counselors
Once you have a list of potential counselors, conduct thorough research:
Qualifications: Verify their credentials, including their license, education, and any additional certifications.
Specializations: Ensure their specialties align with your needs.
3. Consider Logistics
Practical considerations can influence your choice:
Location: Choose a counselor who is conveniently located or offers online sessions if that suits you better.
Availability: Ensure their schedule aligns with your availability for appointments.
4. Initial Consultation
Many counselors offer an initial consultation, which is an opportunity to:
Discuss Your Needs: Share your goals and see how the counselor responds to them.
Assess Compatibility: Evaluate whether you feel comfortable and understood by the counselor. A good therapeutic relationship is built on trust and respect.
Understand Approach: Learn about their therapeutic approach and techniques to see if they align with your preferences.
5. Evaluate Communication Style
Effective counseling requires clear and open communication:
Listening Skills: Notice if the counselor actively listens and responds empathetically.
Respect and Understanding: Assess whether they respect your perspectives and work collaboratively with you.
6. Trust Your Instincts
Finally, trust your intuition:
Comfort Level: Pay attention to how comfortable you feel with the counselor. Feeling at ease is essential for productive therapy.
Gut Feeling: If something doesn’t feel right or you’re not connecting well, it’s okay to seek another counselor.
Conclusion
Choosing the right counselor is a significant step towards achieving your personal growth goals. By identifying your needs, researching potential counselors, and evaluating their fit through consultations and ongoing assessments, you can find a professional who will support and guide you effectively on your journey. Remember, it's okay to take your time and find someone who truly aligns with your needs and preferences.